DISAPPOINTMENT WITH FAMILY
It was heartening to see the Smollett family supporting Jussie in court just before his recent appeal, and after such a great deal of media and judicial fallout. The plight of the only child fares well for many in not having to share one’s parents’ attention. But a person with several siblings – who are both articulate and intimidating looking – like they could beat up a bully, and who show up in court to defend you, appears to be pretty good as well. Perhaps it is possible then that children with brothers and sisters have a better chance of experiencing unconditional love during their lifetime. Having people who care on your side must significantly contribute to one’s overall happiness. An excellent lawyer who creates a strong defense is extremely validating as well. This is the person who explains to everyone why you are right, which at a hearing, might feel like a kind of ecstasy after so much torment – especially if the problem is finally solved.
The family’s participation in Jussie’s defense was also a wonderful counterbalance to a case that presents as mostly hearsay, and lacking of any substantial evidence proving he lied about being attacked. Is there, for example – a wire tap recording of Smollett, as police sometimes use, perhaps admonishing the Osundairo brothers for having weapons and heroin in their apartment? Are there any more surveillance videos? Were there any other witnesses besides the two extremely compromised individuals who committed the crime? Any other witnesses besides the felon who was convicted of the same type of assault a few years ago? It seems what we do know is that someone was assaulted, and that the victim was accused of the crime; that it’s been almost three years, and the case will not die. Instead it is continually reanimated- and with no sense of mind whatsoever. And perhaps for many a layperson, the case just doesn’t seem right legally or constitutionally; more of an extremely adamant denial of a crime committed against a mixed person by blacks; a case that seems to present prejudice as evidence.
It would be disconcerting to conclude that this is a case of a mixed person lacking justice because they don’t have enough racial support to get clear of so many political agendas. As when dealing with people just shaking their heads because your situation doesn’t fit within their comprehension; and where POWER is so territorial. Is this simply a misunderstanding involving race that’s been construed in such a way so as to cancel out support on both sides? A type of circumstance so alienating that people feel as though they can no longer ‘touch you’ lest they be cast down as “fools” – and while justice is sent careening off the rails? So then one may wonder, how bad does this get for someone who is not a celebrity with cash to spend? It is times like these when a person needs their family’s supportive understanding; and to be shielded from the reanimated corpse virus – with its heartbreaking dramas and destruction. If our family does not wish to be the ‘only ones left,’ we hope at the very least, that they will ‘hold their peace.’
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN BORN INTO?
A friend of mine who is in love with a girl from western Europe is happy with the relationship. And along those lines, she asked him to come over and see her family for a visit. He went and got a lot of negative words – as a black guy. But she asked him not to feel bad about her family, and she promised him about getting ready to be her husband.
Mix Society contributor – Talbert Collins
Loving Day – June 12, (1967 supreme court decision), “celebrates the historic ruling in Loving v. Virginia, which declared unconstitutional a Virginia law prohibiting mixed-race marriage — and legalized interracial marriage in every state (NPR, 2021).”
Years before Virginia, the first state anti-miscegenation law (enforcing racial segregation at the level of marriage) case of the 20th century took place in the California Supreme Court; Perez v Sharp 1948, and resulted in the invalidation of the state ban on interracial marriages. Andrea Perez, a Mexican woman, and Sylvester Davis, an African American, were applying for marriage in Los Angeles when they hit a roadblock – laws that had been in place since 1850. (It was also illegal for whites to marry persons of mixed race during this time). The Catholic church was behind Sylvester and Andrea, demonstrating support of the couple’s Catholic faith – and their desire to do things the right way.
Today in the 21st century, mixed children have been fortunate to grow up with mixed male and female representatives in the White House. While on a personal level, there may be differences between private-personal identity and public identification with race – as far as what is considered socially acceptable or functional within current society. Barely a decade passed after the Loving case when Gen X-ers were born, and the reality of outlawed interracial marriage is not even a lifetime ago. June 12 then is the perfect day to celebrate and reflect upon these individuals who took upon themselves such tremendous legal responsibility.
Disappointment with family, in some cases, could be comparable to an arranged marriage with a person who never wanted to marry you and who immediately takes up with someone else. It might feel like being cheated, not only emotionally – where intimate spaces within the heart are occupied by pseudo-attachments. But may also manifest itself as a kind of unappropriated privilege – social, financial, etc. If the marriage falls apart, a certain part of the mixed child might fall out along with it. And as everyone takes a side, that Grandma/Grandpa, Aunts and Uncles, cousins, everyone you called family, the special moments that were witnessed – their graduations, the marriages, and dramas – the children that were born, the divorces, the defaulted mortgages – everyone in that family, who you have known your entire life – could stop playing for your team.
One unfortunate aspect of racial equity, which is on the rise, is encounters with relatives who turn out to be competitors – and begin behaving in a mocking, disrespectful, and (subtly) resentful manner. Many mixed persons identify with the race pertaining to their skin color, but as a result of political circumstances, could find themselves feeling less comfortable with their ‘fall back’ race. Joel Osteen a Christian minister once advised during a sermon (in so many words) to – go where you are truly valued and appreciated and not simply where you are tolerated. So how does the mixed/biracial individual accord with this concept dwelling within the confines of so much racial tolerance?
Those who believe they are the only ones out there should know that they are not. Families come in all shapes and sizes, each with their own unique set of characteristics. Take time to thank those who have shown their gratitude to you.
Mix Society writer – Carolyn Eastham